Dreams From Days Gone By

I used to have fun dreams all the time, but over the past few years, they've been far between. I had one earlier this week where Laura was leaving me for Peyton Manning, and Peyton was being a real jerk about it (even beating me up at one point). I did complain that it wasn't fair - his job allowed for him to become a better physical specimin than me and he shouldn't keep kicking me, but if anything, it just encouraged him.

Dan said that there was no way Peyton Manning would have been that mean to me. If he was going to steal my wife, he would at least give me a cameo in one of his commercials in exchange.

Anywho, it got me thinking back to some of my old dreams that just made me laugh so much. Here's one from way back almost three years ago.

The Zus and I were in Congress (as representatives). But it was like an older-style congress. Everyone was dressed in like 1800's style clothes, us included. I guess that doesn't necessarily mean it was back in the day, but if it wasn't, we were all dressed pretty funny.

Anywho, Josh was, apparently, a rebel in congress and had made no shortage of enemies who wanted to stop the progress he was preaching. We had a few other allies with us, but there were some old-timers who wanted nothing other than getting Josh to stop trying to push his progressive agendas. Well, after a break for lunch, I came back into the meeting hall and the "bad guys" were all eyeing me and a few of Josh's other allies evilly. Then, one guy came up to us and said, "They found some information on Josh that they're going to try to use to have him impeached." Everyone was frantically looking around for Josh to try to prepare him for this, but he was nowhere to be found. The bad guys had some lobbyist out distracting him until the meeting was called so that nobody could get to him beforehand to warn him. I, being Josh's unspoken second-in-command, was given responsibility for making sure Josh wasn't blindsided. He was the face of the future, after all! The allies said, "Make sure that when the bad guys make their accusation that Josh refutes it with a well-planned argument. If he doesn't dispute the claim, then they can call that his silent agreement and it will be easier for them to get rid of him."

So finally, Josh walks in, but the gavel bangs all to order and you can get kicked out of congress if you're not in your seat (apparently). So I sat down and tried to get Josh's attention, but with no luck. And if I didn't warn Josh, I had to count on his New York temper to force him to refute the statement. A pretty good bet, most times, but I remember Josh has been trying to learn how to act civil, and he might bite his tongue.

The leader of the bad guys stands up and says, "For the next action, I move to impeach Josh!" There's some commotion and Josh stands up... but he doesn't say anything! So I stand up angrily and shout out, "ON WHAT GROUNDS!" trying to get him to say something that will trigger Josh's reaction. Apparently the bad guys weren't ready for me to say that, because their response was, "He's not a nice guy and he has funny hair." There was some murmur of agreement throughout the room, but Josh just started laughing.

And then I woke up. But I'm confident that with a case like theirs, we would have beaten that rap. No worries, Josh. You can pedal your progressive propaganda all you like. The bad guys can't stop you! I think he does have funny hair, though.